Basically I reconnected with this guy that I really like. A few months back, we were talking for a bit and going on dates with, what we (or at least I) thought, intention of heading somewhere. Then it ended. He broke no contact and admitted hes not looking for a relationship rn and tbh I am, but not with him after everything I've learned. However, we still have great chemistry and I'm not seeing anyone else rn bc I'm taking a break from active dating/apps. We went on a date recently that went great until I told him my boundary: no sex until committed relationships. Tbh, I think as a virgin (which he doesn't know) at my age, I don't have any other option. Ik I would be devastated if I lose it to someone who then ghosts me right after (you never know if you aren't committed to one another). Intimacy is not casual to me; however, I can't lie, I've really been wanting to have sex lately. And honestly I think he'd be amazing at it from the makeout sessions we've had (compared to other guys). When I told him my boundary, he immediately said that meant we weren't compatible/mismatched (aka he was expecting sex without commitment) and then respectfully said goodbye without trying to understand my why. Yet, ik he enjoys being around me too bc he was already talking abt future dates we could have together. Bottom line, I really wanna have sex with him but feel like it could mess me up mentally if it goes awry + it will be vulnerable for me and he'd have to patient with that... Have I built sex up in my head to mean more than it does, or I've waited this long and should wait until I can have it with someone I fully trust and ik is committed to me? I want him but I wonder if the immediate pleasure will not be worth the potential of mental turmoil 😭 For context, I am not a virgin for religious reasons, it's more developmental delay bc I started dating very late in life
Side note: creepy men stay out of my DMs 😐
